Dear Loose Natural Hair, I’m breaking up with you.

Dear Loose Natural Hair,

I’m breaking up with you. For the past 8 years, you’ve been called a number of things: 4B, kinky, nappy, thick, beautiful, long, wild, Sideshow Bob, coily…. the list goes on. Sometimes I said these things; sometimes others said it (you know I never called you Sideshow Bob). Above all else, you were always beautiful and nappy. And as I prepare you for locs, I want to take this time to let you know where we stand.

You may wonder what’s wrong with you in your loose natural state. And the answer, my love, is absolutely nothing. I’m not going to tell you, “it’s not you, it’s me”. Because that’s just not true. It’s you and it’s me. Sometimes you didn’t cooperate, you pushed me to spend lots of money and time on you when I didn’t want to, and you needed more attention than I could give you. You can understand that right?

I mean, on wash days, you required 3+ hours of my time. I could have been blogging, working, cleaning, exercising, relaxing, tweeting, or cooking. I’d spend 20 minutes twisting you at night, carefully sealing my ends with just the right amount of leave-in conditioner, oil, and cream.  Crossing my fingers that you’d show up and show out! I’d roll the dice, wake up, take the twists out, and sometimes find a banging twist-out that would leave me feeling *in my Rick Ross voice*, like a B-O-S-S. Other times, I didn’t know what you were doing. *side eye* There were a few times I wanted to grab you by the root and strangle you. Or cut you.

And you know what, loose natural hair? I always wrapped you in the best. You always slept in satin.  Only the best for my love. I did my best to make sure you had what you needed, from your daily water intake to steam treatments to only the best products. You had it made!

It’s not that I don’t care about you. Because I do. I just think we would get along better if you were loc’ed.  I hope you can understand that. If you think about it, this can’t really come as a surprise. We’ve been talking about this for awhile. 10 years now, I think.   And I’ve got a long list of reasons why I want to loc you.

But it’s time for change. It’s been real, and I love you, loose natural hair. I really do. I know change may seem scary for you right now. You may be wondering: how am I going to look during the loc’ing phase? Will people question why I’m no longer loose? What products will work on me? Am I going to be taken seriously as a loc, and not a strand?

Just know that I’m here for you. I’m struggling with some of the same questions. But I know that you’ll be happy. You’ll be twisted into fab updos, you’ll make others envious, and you’ll thank me for it. Maybe not today, but one day you’ll see that this was best for both of us. Love,



What would your letter to your hair say? Are you breaking up with it, or will you be together 4 E-V-E-R?


5 thoughts on “Dear Loose Natural Hair, I’m breaking up with you.

    • Thank you, Carla. It took me a long time to get here, but I knew I was ready. I’ll continue to post about my loc journey, and I’m sure it will include struggles and challenges. But in the end, I know it’s worth it for me.

  1. Awe! Well, SHC loves your hair anyway you do. My sister wears loc’s and absolutely loves them. Her hair is seeing strength & lengths she never knew. I wish you all the best on your continued natural hair journey Tiffany. I would love to offer you a sample of SHC to keep your locks hydrated and moisturized. My sister, Ms. JJ uses Hydrate in-between washes and seals with almond and castor oil mixed. She also uses Nourish after wash day to keep her hair moisturized soft and malleable without build. Please contact me for details.

    Your truly,

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